Rule #651 of Being a Cam Girl

Don’t let your guard ALL THE WAY down.

Be careful what you share and who you trust.

The sex work community can be filled with some of the nicest people on the planet but it is also home to some of the scariest and you’ll be wise to never get the two confused.

Did You Miss Me?

I missed the fuck out of you!!

And I promise on my jiggly mom boobs that I will never leave you fucking hanging ever again.

Unless there’s pizza.

Then you bitches are on your own.

I know, I know…I suck.

I said I was going to blog every day but then life got in the way and I suck at multitasking but I promise to quit being a slacker and will get my shit together and post more.

Look for my EXXXOTICA Convention recap where I scoop on all things behind the scenes at the Edison NJ expo.

Trust me…You’re not gonna want to miss it.

My Body Is NOT a Bloomin’ Onion

Sometimes I get curious and I ask my longterm grey guys why they never buy tokens.
The answers are almost always the same, broke student, wife won’t let them, mortgages, unemployed…yada yada yada.

I get it.
You’re broke. Money is tight for EVERYONE. Why do you think I’m fingering myself on cam for nickels?
So, I understand. Kinda.
However, just because I’m low on resources, doesn’t mean I am entitled to something just because it’s available to me.
My credit card might be defaulted, but that doesn’t mean I should or could just walk into the department store and start walking out with new clothes.
Excuses don’t put money in the register and just because you LIKE something or maybe have purchased something from this particular vendor before, doesn’t mean you are given a lifetime pardon to shop lift.

Still don’t get it?

Let’s look at it this way, just because you ate a steak at an Outback before and paid for it once, doesn’t mean you are going to be allowed to sit down at a table and eat without paying again. Every time you want a service rendered, whether that be an appetizer or some jiggly titties in your face, you have to also be expected to pay for said service. And if you can’t…FOR WHATEVER REASON…and continue to come into a cam girl’s room and watch her porn and perform without tipping her, you are not “just hanging out with her”…you are stealing from her.

And for that, there is NO excuse.

So, while I get that some cam sites ALLOW guys to sit around and get an eyeful all day every day without coughing up ONE STINKING NICKEL, it doesn’t make it right.
And if you really love watching us and being in our room like you claim to, you will step up and honor your side of the bargain.

Curvy Cam Girl Advice..or something kinda like it.

First of all, Let me start by saying I don’t just DO shows, but I also watch cams too.
I always tip cammers that I enjoy because… DUH that’s how it works.
And lately, I am seeing a LOT of cammers absolutely lose their shit in their rooms when they aren’t getting the token love they think they should be getting. Which lead to this post.

I’m by no means a cam genius or a cam pro or a cam “lesson giver outer”, but seriously?
This is not rocket science. It’s sooooo simple. All you have to do is just break it down into pieces.
At it’s core, camming is essentially just a chat room.
Which means, the basis behind it is CHATTING aka talking aka shooting the shit aka engaging in conversation.
Sure, during this dialogue, your tits are out and their dicks are in their hands but if you’re just staring at your phone and scowling at the screen because no one seems impressed with your texting ability….you can’t really be surprised when no one talks or tips. Right??
RIGHT???
I get it, you turned the cam on. You are wearing something cute. You’re ready to make that coin.
However, just because you did those things doesn’t mean the only job you have left to do is to count your nickels.
Be present. Make shit up if you have to. Start a conversation and keep it going even when everyone else is staying quiet. It’s YOUR room, not THEIRS.And don’t act like you’ve never talked to yourself before because we have ALL done that shit!!!
You ARE in charge. However, just because you’re the boss doesn’t mean anyone owes you anything. Especially if you’re just sitting there looking bored and distracted and acting like a bitch.
If they wanted to see that shit, they’d just delete their account and hang out with their wives.
So yeah.
Take my advice or don’t…but just know that for every 4 viewers that think you acting like a douche nozzle is hot. There’s 10 or more with a butt ton of tokens to spend who just wish you’d lighten the fuck up already.

I kinda did a thing

My blog wasn’t TECHNICALLY supposed to go “live” until September, but since I need more than 140 characters to get my point across…VOILA!!
Prepare for nonstop word vomit.
I’m sorry, but I’m not even a little bit sorry.

Camming 101

Just because you have a camera and a laptop and an internet provider doesn’t mean you can be a successful cam girl. This job is NOT for every one. It’s not just titty flashes and finger banging yourself on your fuzzy living room rug. It’s so more than that. Camming requires a lot of soul searching and dipping into your long put away creative juices. And while some superficial bitches can find some success, eventually the 18k gold overlay washes off, leaving nothing but a tarnished hot mess.

So, get your shit together. What kind of cam girl ARE YOU? What’s going to be different about your shows that the other girls just don’t have? What makes you special? And after you discover what these things are… How are you going to implement them into your work to make you stand out above everyone else? Because seriously? Just because you CAN cam, doesn’t mean you SHOULD cam. Not everyone is social enough to be successful. And sure, having nice body parts is a good place to begin, but after awhile, what else do you have to offer?

For starters, be a nice human being. If you go into this thinking every guy who peeps your pussy OWES you something, you are going to be soooo disappointed. And kind of a dick too, but whatevs. A lot of cam sites allow anonymous dudes to see your shows, so that means even though you think your tatas are worth mucho tokens, there are currently guys with nothing but lint in their pocket catching free boners looking at your nips. So, know your odds and work around them.

Knowing that freeloaders are checking you out, shouldn’t change the way you do anything. For every three guys with a zero token balance, there are 5 who have the ways and means to spoil you, you just have to find a way to get AND KEEP their attention long enough to let that happen.

Also? You should keep in mind that not every guy has 3 hours to see you, fall in love with you and decide they want to pay your rent. You literally have minutes and sometimes even SECONDS to entice, seduce and entertain. So, keep your games and tricks and promises to under a certain amount of time because a lot of token holders have a sort of sexual ADHD. If you miss your window because you were waiting 40 minutes to get a crazy ticket show started, you just might lose your opportunity.

Step out of your comfort zone.Try some freaky shit. Nipple clamps, latex, a ball gag, some furry handcuffs or even just a tub of Cool Whip. Be prepared, because not everyone likes what your boyfriend likes, so sometimes you just need to freshen shit up.

Buy some sexy lingerie. Even if you think it’s a waste or even if you normally don’t wear it because most of your guys prefer to see you naked, there will always be that one dude who comes into your room requesting something other than the norm and they will bounce from room to room until they find it. Soooo, fuck that…be on top of that shit and beat someone else to it.

Hashtag the fuck out of yourself. If you are a squirter, make sure the guys that love that shit know you soak through some sheets when you cum. If you are a bigger girl than average, make sure your BBW lovers know you are online so they can come show you some chubby girl love.

Twitter your ass off. While some girls charge for Snapchat and Instagram, the bottom line is that statistically more people use and have access to Twitter than any other social media platform. Get on that shit, attach a widget to your bio, and post post post. Accumulating followers will not only improve the groups that come into your room, it will also let your regulars know what you are up to and if you are selling anything or doing a show soon that they might be interested in seeing.

Don’t just scream shit into the camera. Saying OHMYGOD and THANK YOU and YESSSS every time you get a tip is NOT conversation. Talk to your guys. Sure, be grateful and react to your tips anyway you choose, but then DO MORE. Have conversations. Tell a little about yourself. Talk. Don’t just stare at your phone looking bored and distracted waiting for guys to throw nickels at your face because just like a regular full time job, camming is work. Being a cam girl is just like being employed as any other service worker. You need to be friendly, approachable, engaging and sincere. If they wanted to be in a room with a disinterested bitch not talking to them and staring at their phone, they would just hang with their spouse/significant other. So, start yapping, chica. They don’t call it a chat room for shits and giggles.

So yeah. Camming is awesome. And yes, camming is a billion dollar industry. However, just because the money is there, doesn’t mean it’s owed to you simply because you’ve decided you’re ready to give it a whirl.

This profession is what you put into it, so put some awesome stank on it…and good luck, bitches!!

Camming DO’s and DON’T DO’s

DO’s

Get yourself a quality web cam. In the beginning if you have to make do with your grainy built in or your camera from back in the AOL days, so be it. Just know that if your viewers can’t see you clearly, or if you look like your broadcasting from a 7/11 surveillance camera, you might not have great room numbers or snag yourself a lot of tokens.
Turn the lights on, Girl!! Open some blinds and curtains and if you go online after the sun sets, buy some bright bulbs, take the shades off your lamps or invest in some photography lights because brightness is your friend. It knocks the wrinkles, dark rings and even some of your stretch marks right out of the ballpark and how are any of those things a bad move?
Choose a super fantastic and amazeballs identity and screen name. A lot of sites will not let you alter or amend your screen name once you pick it, so give it some thought. Make it good. And make it something catchy that viewers will remember. Of course, you could always just be yourself and keep your government name, but let’s be honest…doesn’t BACON AND LEGS have a much better ring to it??
Buy some sexy shit to wear. It doesn’t all have to come from Agent Provocateur. Some of the best things I own and wear are from discount racks and Dollar Stores. Buy what you can afford, what matches your personality and what makes YOU feel cute in it because in the end, your comfort is ALL that matters. Just save all receipts and keep a running spreadsheet of every purchase you make.
Get yourself an external microphone. If you’re using a laptop, or an older model computer the audio is always kind of cheesy. It can get tinny and sound like it’s splitting or cracking. An external mic will improve the sound quality in your room and allow you to do a show where you are clearly HEARD as well as SEEN.
Practice, practice, practice. Get comfortable in the front of the camera. Do a few dry runs before you actually go live this way you get the lay of the land and know your limitations and what your comfort levels are.
Social Media is Magic. MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC. Get yourself a slutty Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Snapchat and KIK. Twitter reaches BILLIONS of people. BILLIONS. A simple tweet with a catchy hashtag could be the difference between you having 500 followers or 5,000.

DON’T DO’s

Don’t quick your fucking day job. Camming isn’t for every one. Some girls are naturals and find their niche and are very successful at what they do. And other’s think they have what it takes only to discover this shit is way harder than it looks. Before thinking you can just turn on your cam and start making bank, try doing this consistently for a few weeks (months even) before you start looking at ocean side real estate and pricing fancy cars and boats.
It’s really easy to say you can detach yourself from this line of work, but if you get overly agitated or have a really thin skin, this job may not be the one for you. You will get called names, you will get propositioned for sex, you will get called fat, ugly and old. You will get tricked, lied to and deceived. You will get taken of advantage of and let down. Just know that it all comes with the territory and shouldn’t be something you take to bed with you once you turn the camera off. Not everyone will like you and hardly anyone will respect you. Just as long as you respect yourself, and remind yourself that you are NONE of the things and thoughts anyone has about you…you will be just fine.
Even though it’s okay for your personality to shine through, it’s not really a good idea to share your personal struggles and dilemmas on cam. Yes, your viewers care about you. And yes..they love you and feel connected to you. However, not every single detail of your personal life needs to be shared online. As awesome as it is that you have no boundaries and filters, no one wants to see or hear you talk about your IBS or family crap. Some viewers LOVE that shit, but even the most die hard fans will get tired of the Debbie Downer drama and lose interest.
Don’t be petty toward other cammers. Sex work is serious business. Even the most confident and beautiful performer has insecurities and issues we know NOTHING about. So, while it’s okay to secretly loathe someone (I am guilty of this fo’ SURE) just let that shit simmer beneath the surface and focus instead on how to make your show better. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. There is only one YOU. And at the end of the day it’s what YOU do in your show that matters, not what someone else is doing that you can’t understand or get behind.
Avoid making promises you can’t keep. If you hashtag your room “SQUIRTERS PARADISE” make sure after you reach goal you know how to make it rain in your panties because these guys have memories like elephants and if you stand and deliver and give them something they wanted and needed and hoped for..they will keep coming back.
Here’s a little rule to remember. Your looks may get you in the door, but your personality keeps you there. So, let that mother fucker shine. If you like music, crank that shit up and dance your ass off the whole show. If you have an artistic soul, set up your easel and Picasso the shit out of yourself. And if you like to hammer your pussy until it looks like chopped meat, you can do that too. Find out what you want your show to be about and who you are as a performer and make that shit happen.
Have fun. There’s this terrible stigma attached to sex work that implies we are all broken and hopeless and doing this line of work because we are desperate and have no choice. And, while in some rare cases, this is does happen…for most of us, that simply is NOT TRUE. This job has just as many perks than setbacks and you just have to go into this with an open mind and a free spirit and everything will be cool beans.

Congrats you’re a Cam girl. Now, Don’t be a dick!!

Wassup Bitches!!

Let’s jump right in, shall we??

I’ve only been camming for a few months. And in the short amount of time that I have been flashing my bits, I have discovered a few crucial things that may or may not help you before you turn your camera on.

No two cam rooms will ever generate the same type of traffic. No matter the hashtags, or the way you look, guys will flit and fly all over the place at any given moment. You will have the guys that only want to pop into rooms if they suspect the cum show is imminent. There are guys who don’t want anything sexual AT ALL. There are guys looking for big boobs, fat asses, pussy shots, girls in glasses, anime lovers, a chick with a teddy bear on her bed, panty hose wearers, lingerie like his wife used to wear, BDSM stuff and even just something simple like the color of your duvet. The one things that stays constant is this…If they don’t find what they need in your room, they WILL move on until they do.
While cam girls are like snowflakes and no two are exactly the same, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do your research first. I love watching cams. And not just to show some support to my fellow cammers, but it also helps to ninja watch and pay attention. I pay attention to the things that they do, and the games that they play and how well the room responds to those things. So, watch closely. Look at what they do, how they do it and what you can do to make those things unique to you.
Paying taxes is IMPORTANT. So make sure you pay those fuckers. And after you do that, go on ahead and Itemize every goddamn thing you buy for your camming sessions too. If you buy a camera and lights and lingerie and toys to shove in your holes, make sure you write that shit down on a spread sheet and staple receipts to it like a mother fucker. You WILL thank me for this later.
Don’t take shit too personally. People can be cruel. You need super thick skin to do this job. And while some guys love a whimpering,sniveling hot mess of a cam girl with butt hurt, it’s really not a good look. So, chin up buttercup. You will get called a whore, You will get called fat and ugly and disgusting and they will try to knock you down a peg because even guys with tokens can be heartless assholes.
Switch stuff up. Variety is magical. While some viewers crave routine and jerking off on a schedule to the same pair of bouncing tits every day…some like when you try new shit. Take advantage of any apps your site may host, and if there are none create some games of your own. You can play dress up, use some apps on your phone, a deck of cards or even just a bag of dollar store balloons. Anything and everything can be used as a fun distraction if you play with the idea long enough.
And last but not least…(and this is the most important one of all) DON’T BE A DICK. It can be really easy to get frustrated sometimes when shows don’t always go the way we hoped. However, the last thing you need to do after that happens is to start being a petty twat and look to point fingers as to why. Not every day is going to be a red letter day. Some days will be glorious and you will feel like Rockefeller and other days you are just making enough to buy some dollar store chips and lip gloss. Life happens. Being douchey to another hard working cam girl won’t put the money you hoped to make into your pocket any faster. If anything, it just might blow up in your face in the worst possible way. While not all cam girls are friendly to one another, they DO stick together. SO, if you attack one, guess what bitch? You’re shitting on all of them..and they will not let that fly. So, just mind your own business and focus on the money In YOUR own pocket and stop trying to count anyone else’s.

The best part of being a cam girl (and trust me, there are TONS of them) is that YOU command your destiny. YOU YOU YOU. How awesome is THAT???

You get online when YOU want to. YOU do shows that YOU want to do. And at the end of the day, every token given to you is one YOU earned. And after all is said and done, that’s ALL that matters.

***Keep in mind I’m no expert. In fact, I’m just the opposite. I’m just a chatty bitch who likes to run her mouth and if by doing that I can help ONE person out…VOILA.***

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